My biggest concern for my friends is that they have someone to talk to. At the time, I may not be the person they choose to talk to confide in. But, I really like to know that they have someone they are talking to. It is so good to know that your friends are loved and cared for.

 

Case #1:

Before Whirlwind was born 7 years ago, I had a group of amazing fun new friends.  We went camping together, had bbq’s, nights out for wings and too much booze. It was pretty fun. I felt like I had a great community.  Then one of the couples just sort of disappeared from the group.  Sure, I was sad to see them move on.  I was never really worried that it was personal or that I had done something wrong. My biggest concern was that if they were no longer hanging out with us, then I wanted to make sure they were hanging out with someone else or another new group of friends. Another group of friends that was just as awesome.

 

Case #2:

My friend was leaving her husband. She just sort of sprung it on me. I was shocked. I had really no clue that things were bad. I was so worried that she was carrying all this and going through, at the time, the biggest challenge of her life.  Sure, I was pregnant and totally into myself, but if she wasn’t talking to me- who the hell was she talking to? Did she have good friends to carry her through this time? Please let someone near her be taking her out for wine.

 

Case #3:

I really lucked out in the friend department. I have some gooders.  Especially when I go back home. Sure, I don’t talk to my Manitoba friends weekly or monthly, but I know if I needed them I could call and those ladies would have my back.  I have missed a lot. I get filled in whenever I am home. Honestly, I feel pretty shitty when I am sitting there and I hear about another miscarriage, cancer, a troubled teenager or marital strife.  Often I feel like an outsider listening in while they show all their cards. I am also honoured that I am still a “safe place” for them to share. I take comfort in the fact that I know they have got some “girls”.  It also comforts me to know that they live close enough to each other to show up with a mushroom soup casserole.

 

Case #4:

Recently my friend was diagnosed with cancer and I couldn’t be there for everything that I wanted to be there for.  I couldn’t drive her to appointments. I couldn’t sit in the waiting room. I couldn’t pick up her kids. I couldn’t really do anything. But, she had friends who did. Friends that I will probably never ever meet. Friends who will never know how eternally grateful I am that they took care of my friend and took care of all of her needs.

 

I give you these examples because I think jealousy is a terrible thing.  I am not hurt that my friends turned to other people. I am happy that my friends turned to someone.  I am happy that they are not holding it all in.

Don’t be jealous of your friends “other” friends, be thankful for them.

Looking back at Cases 1 to 4, I may not have been the first phone call for my friends…this time.

But, I used to be their very first call. 

Friendships ebb and flow.

Thanks for including me on the ride, ladies.