My friends are growing up and getting jobs.

I don’t like it.

Let me explain…

Many of us had careers before we had our children and then we struggled with our new roles of either staying home with our kids and/or going back to work.

Most of us spent the last 8 to 10 years figuring all this out.

Now that our kids are growing up, I’m noticing big changes in my friend’s lives.

They are starting their own businesses.

They are going back to school.

They are leaving their previous careers to find ones that stimulate them in different ways.

They are finding that their previous career has no flexibility so they are retraining in new roles in the same office.

They are making big changes.

And as much as I find them all inspiring. I am not sure how I feel about it.

It’s another phase over.

It’s like we have all gone on to start a new chapter in our lives.

0- 10 years.

10- 20 years.

20-30 years.

30-40 years.

Obviously, every 10 years in each of our lives has brought big changes in our development as human beings. But, I don’t really understand this next phase.

Is this when my career is supposed to be bringing me life?

Is this when I finally start to really like the person I am?

Is this the time where I tell my husband we should become swingers?

I’m no longer in the stage of my life where I am drowning, either are my friends.  Sure, we are balancing work, kids, school and divorces. But, we are getting our shit together and finally finding out who we really are.

The last decade of my life was so draining. We all seemed so fucked up in trying to find our identities through the weight of parenting.

And now we are here.

We’re all meeting ourselves for the first time.

Our true selves.

It’s scary. It’s exciting. It’s weird.

I’m no longer just a Mom. I am starting to get the opportunity to be more than that, but if given the chance, I know I wouldn’t want to go back to the days of being completely frazzled. But, the identity of being a Hot Mess Mom will be missed by me.

Greatly.