Remember when I told you I was trying to make new friends? 

Remember how I am trying to fit in at school pick up?

Remember when I discovered that all of my friends were having sex during the day?

Sorry that is a lot of remembering.

No pop quiz.

I promise.

Anywho…

So keeping with the theme of sex during the day and trying to make new friends and attempting to fit in at school pick up.   I happened to combine all three of these awkward situations in one big swoop.

You see, a new Mommy friend that I know from school pick up gave me her phone number.  We aren’t really casual texters. We  usually text to pass along information or to make play date plans or maybe a coffee date.  We are getting there.  Maybe I will buy her a “Best Friends Forever” necklace for Christmas.

Anywho..

The other day my friend and her husband walked hand in hand to school pick up. They reeked of sex.  Not literally. I mean, I couldn’t smell it on them. But I could feel it from them. They totally oozed of fresh sex.

And because I say dumb things I said, “How’s it going? What’s new?”

They both sort of stammered and said something about going for a “run”.

Listen, I may be a bit of an idiot. But, there is no way that just happened. They totally just bumped uglies.  Give me some credit, you horndogs.  So, I smiled nicely while I was thinking, “What a couple of liars.”

Now before I go on with this story, let’s just remember that I am an idiot that can not let things go.  Not only do I say dumb inappropriate things, I text them too.

Case in point…

 

Thank God, she still likes me. I mean really, who texts that to a woman they have just started to become friends with?

But, she still answered me! I didn’t scare her off. Anyways sorry to cut this short, I gotta run and go order those BFF necklaces now.