Whirlwind has been popping out some good ones lately….

You can tell she is using that little brain of hers.  For example;

Whirlwind:  “Why does Caillou get to wear shoes inside?”

Me:  “Um……Because they don’t have carpet in their house.”

What I really want to say is: “Caillou is a cartoon and who ever draws him is too lazy to draw bare feet. And where is his hair? And why am I so attracted to his cartoon father?”

She is also trying to act like a grown up. For example:

I took her out for some Mommy/ Daughter time at a fancy restaurant.

It was Denny’s.

Hey, it is fancier than McDonald’s. Except my McDonald’s has a fire place, leather chairs and pictures of people rock climbing. What the fuck is that all about?

Anyways…..

Whirlwind is stirring her hot chocolate in her mug and says, “So…what did you do at work today?”

I can’t help but smile. She looks and sounds amazing. She is acting just like me. What a sweetie. What a little doll. And then….

“I can touch my vagina in my room right, just like you Mommy?”

“Um…….” I say. I look around nervously at the other tables surrounding us.

And she keeps talking….

“You touch your vagina in your room right, Mommy?

Oh My God. Shut up. Shut up! This conversation has to stop. This is really not the place for me to be talking about my bedroom habits. I start nodding like I am having a seizure.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, that is where I touch my vagina.” I answer.

Ugh.

And because I do not want to end this post with you having an image of me touching my vagina in my room…..

Some things she says are not so smart. For example:

Me:   “You are a brat.”

Whirlwind: ” No, I’m not, I’m a chicken finger.”

Me: “I think I would prefer that.”

Damn, I love me some plum sauce.