This is Julie of Triple Threat: Life with 3 boys.  Julie has been an amazing supporter of Mommy’s Weird and always takes the time to comment. Thanks girl!  Give her a big warm Mommy’s Weird welcome to her first GUEST POST!

Well hellooooo there!  I’m SO excited to be guest-posting for Kyla today!  I still can’t believe she asked me…and I’m still not sure she knew what she was doing but hey, here I am!

Oh, you might want to know who I am right?  I’m Julie.  I rant and rave over at Triple Threat: Life with 3 Boys.  If you guessed I have 3 little men, you’ve won a free, um, chance to click that link! Yeah Baby YEAH!  So, back to bidness.  Dramasaur is 8, and, as his name implies, prone to drama.  Stanky is recently 6, and as gassy as they come.  PigPen is 3, and filth just seems to jump on him no matter what he is doing.  Grumpasaur is the man in my life.  He plays all gruff and tough, but he’s a great dad, and I couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime.

You know, when I found out Dramasaur was a boy, I envisioned lots of schmoopy things: mommy-son dates, lots of blue (my favorite color), playing outside in the dirt, and lots of quality hugging.  Nothing could have prepared me for the things I’d see and hear having 3 boys and I never could have night-terror-imagined the things I’d be saying.  So, without further ado, my 10 Things I Was NEVER Prepared to Say Out Loud. To Anyone.

1.Pee one at a time!  I don’t care if he does open his legs.
2.Get off your brothers’ head.
3.(along with #2) That doesn’t mean sit on his face!
4.(also said with #2 & #3) Do NOT FART on his nose!
5.I don’t care how small the turd is, you always have to flush it.
6.Please don’t chew on the dog’s tail.
7.Take off your brothers’ dirty underwear – they don’t belong on anyone’s head.
8.Why is the bathroom covered in wet toilet paper?
9.Rocks do not belong in your nose.  (after a 4-hour ER visit to get one out)
10.So what if he peed on you in the shower?  You have both soap and water Right There.  Deal with it.
11.BONUS: If you wipe one more booger on my pants, I’m going to…

Anyone else noticing a trend?  I rarely have to mention anything with dirt or bugs, because they seem to just know about that stuff.  It’s the sick crap I have to police!  What disgusting things do you have to deal with?  Any gems of wisdom out there for me (or anyone brave enough to check out my blog)?

Thanks for letting me visit Kyla!